Thursday, June 17, 2004

Sunday, June 20, 2004

I forgot to post yesterday, but oh man. After me and Manda ran to Target, she took me to the Dailard parking lot, because I was talking about driving. She stopped the car and we switched seats. I drove in circles around the parking lot, and tried to park. I took up two spaces, but hey, at least I know how to! I learned which pedal is the brake :). At one point, if you know the Dailard parking lot, when I was by the gate, I saw two little heads. I kept driving, and I looked again. There they were. But everytime I looked at them, they'd pop back down. But they were LAUGHING at me! hmmf. No appreciation for driving, what little pieces of crap. Then we went home and took pictures of me in about 5 different random outfits-http://wwww.picturetrail.com/shelly29
go there and see:)

It was strange, at Dailard.In the driver's seat, able to see out and above the window. I saw the big ant tree, where me and my friends would sit sometimes, and try to climb to the highest branch, not having those ants crawl up our shorts. The sand box where our kindergarten teacher buried treasure for us. The place where I got in my first fight with my then best friend, Elise. That place, they had better never shut it down. NEVER. That place is full of memories, those that I laugh about when I think of stupid things,old star pasted art projects, drooping in dismay, that I once had so much pride in, the first time I talked to a boy, and found it wasn't so bad. Girl scout meetings, assemblies where I'd get dressed up in my prettiest dress, and my prettiest shoes, and clutch this little piece of paper like that determined what I would do in the world. I wanted to go sit on the jungle gym, where I first asked someone, "Do you want to be my friend?", and remember all the good things. But if someone walked by, they wouldn't see that small little 5 year old with the bowl cut, knowing what she was going to do after recess. They'd just see a 15 year old no one, not knowing who or where she's going.

How things will be diffent next year. The sister who once threw shoes at me, hating me and me hating her, will be gone. I'll be the 'oldest'. I'll miss her, but that's not the weirdest thing about going into 10th grade. I don't know who my friends will be anymore. Will things change that much that when I get there, everyone will have changed for the better, found their own pack? I was excited for 10th grade, but talking to other people, they have their own lives now.

So now I'll fade into my own life, strumming Jack Johnson on my guitar and humming to myself. Is this who I am? Guess so.
shellster7:42 PM